Our values are those principles and qualities that matter to us, that are really important to our sense of well being.
They are the ideas and beliefs on which we base our decisions. They become like an invisible DNA that controls our sense of right and wrong.
Sometimes, somewhere along the line, we fool ourselves into a false belief system. The Science of Happy Weight loss by Jan Oliver
My 46 year old neighbor died last week.
Not that we were good friends, but I watched his kids grow up and the many transitions his property has gone through. He worked hard and took pride in his home. Even though he and his entire family preferred to keep to themselves, it is still been quite hard to adjust to.
Is it the suddenness of the event? Or is it the wake he left behind? I don’t really know. I wonder what happened to him? I heard it was his heart. As a nurse I know that when a young man has a major cardiac event for the first time, he is most at risk to not make it. This is because his heart has not had any reason to create compensatory pathways to bring oxygen and blood to his body the way say an older man’s heart has had to do over the course of many small cardiac events.
Did he take care of himself? I believe he belonged to the local gym. Did he eat right? No idea. How was his heart? And by heart I mean his head heart. Well, let’s just say he was a bit of a hot head. You have probably heard of someone dying of a broken heart. Recently I have found out that your head and heart cannot be separate entities. Any strong emotion can lead to fatal cardiac arrythmia.
There is something that is called “psychological flexibility” which means you have the ability to be fully present in each moment which includes accepting one’s own internal experiences even when unpleasant and distressful, and willingly engaging in behaviors that are consistent with one’s life values (Hayes et al., 2006). For instance if you are giving up sugar to have a longer life because you value your family and want to be healthy for the time you have with them, then you resist the craving even though it is very hard. The same is true with any other addictive and potentially harmful behavior, drinking alcohol, smoking, overeating, and being angry ALL THE TIME!!! This particular behavior is often most likely due to existing depression according to Januzzi 2006 et al. In contrast, psychological inflexibility is the attempt to decrease cognitive and physical distress even when doing so may sacrifice long-term behavioral goals, meaning the person cannot make themselves give up the behavior that would potentially limit their lifespan. (Luoma et al., 2011).There is actually a test one can take called the Acceptance and Action Questionnaire to see how likely you are to stick to any real lifestyle changes. I bring this up of course because the basis of the 3minuteinc program is to get aligned with what your values are. I believe my neighbor was trying to create his dream but somewhere in the process things got messed up with his priorities. Yes remodeling his home and having the most perfect lawn is a totally fine goal, but not at the risk of alienating everyone else. He built some pretty high and impenetrable walls that from the other side of the fence appeared very much like bitterness, and random acts of unkindness. I truly do not know how to proceed in offering the family condolences as they made it clear they do not want any. So I guess life just goes on as usual.
This brings me to the topic of my rant today.
LIFE IS A GIFT.
It has been in my grill big time lately, everywhere I turn there is another LIFE IS A GIFT message.
From near tragic accidents on the sledding hills, to scary chest pain ocurrances, to worst possible Hospice scenarios, to my neighbor dropping dead at age 46 years old.These are just a few that come to mind today.
From time to time we need to step back and re-evaluate. Do some house cleaning and throw out things that have just accumulated and you will never have use for. This is meant to be understood as both metaphorical and physical statement.
I have been doing some major purging, the physical lately in my home that I have resided in for 22 years. As you begin this clearing out process and throwing out the useless, you will find that there might be some things you filed away that need to be plastered on your wall and your heart.
For instance here are some jewels that I found today worth keeping and sharing with you.
- The physical health of ones body affects ones productivity. Life is a marriage of body and soul and is at it’s most productive when nurtured by a sound physique as well as a healthy spirit.
- The effects of the aging process upon a persons productivity are largely determined by the manner in which he regards this marriage and partnership.
- When one regards the body as an accessory to the soul the SPIRITUAL GROWTH OF OLD AGE INVIGORATE THE BODY.
- This enables one to lead a productive existence for as long as the Almighty grants one the GIFT OF LIFE
- Productivity is the very essence of life
- The fact that God has granted a person a single additional day of bodily life, means that person has not concluded his mission in life, there is still something to achieve in the world.
- Old age is a challenge to find new and superior venues of achievement